Sangjit: the betrothal gift ceremony before the wedding

Through the seserahan, the groom’s family declares it is ready for the marriage. The jewellery stands for the bond, the angpao thanks the bride’s parents, and the clothing promises to provide.

The word Sangjit comes from Hokkien. In Singapore and Malaysia a similar ceremony is known as guo da li.

Hokkien, Hakka, Teochew, Cantonese and Peranakan customs differ. What is written here is the pattern common in Indonesia; the family’s own customs remain the guide.

Sangjit takes place after Tingjing (the proposal) and before the wedding day, usually a few weeks to a few months ahead. The range most often given is between one week and six months before the wedding, on a date the family picks as auspicious.

It is often held around midday, roughly 10:00 to 13:00, though some families choose the afternoon or evening. Many families now hold Tingjing and Sangjit on the same day.

Sangjit is usually a closed gathering for immediate family and close relatives. Roughly, the roles are:

The groom’s family

Parents, siblings and relatives arrive carrying the trays. One family elder opens the ceremony and states why they have come.

The tray bearers

Often younger, unmarried relatives. At the end they receive angpao from the bride’s side, a wish that they too will soon find a partner.

The bride’s family

Receives the trays one at a time, usually starting with the trays for the parents, then those for the bride. They also prepare the return gifts.

The couple

Greet both families and join the photographs. Red and gold outfits, such as a cheongsam, are common.

After the handover the two families introduce their members and share a meal.

Sangjit trays come in even numbers, usually 6, 8 or 12. Four is avoided because in Chinese it sounds like the word for death.

Jewellery

A necklace or a full set, a symbol of the bond.

Angpao

Milk money to thank the bride’s parents for raising her, and party money towards the reception.

Clothing and fabric

A sign the groom will provide for his wife.

Fruit, cakes, candles, drinks

Wishes for prosperity, harmony and protection. Part of each comes back.

The bride’s family does not keep everything. Part of the gifts goes back as a return gift, a sign that the proposal is accepted and the families will stay close. The full list, item by item, is on the seserahan trays page.

The three are easy to mix up, since all of them bring the two families together. The difference is timing and purpose: Tingjing asks for the bride’s hand, Sangjit delivers the gifts, Tea Pai honours the elders on the wedding day.

MYS Sangjit Seserahan creates custom decor and seserahan trays, and organises Tingjing, Sangjit and Tea Pai ceremonies in Bali, since 2005.

For a Sangjit, MYS handles the decor, the seserahan trays and the running of the day. Families can also book just one part, such as the decor alone or the trays alone.

Decor

Backdrops, moon arches and florals redesigned for each ceremony, around the venue and the colour scheme. Each design starts as a sketch and is then built on site.

Seserahan trays

Pagoda and acrylic tray sets, filled and arranged, with the meaning of every item explained so the parents can see nothing is missing. The family prepares the jewellery, angpao and clothing; other items such as fruit, cakes, candles and syrup can be supplied by MYS on request.

Running the day

The run-of-show is written with the family. On the day, the MYS team coordinates with the venue and stays with the ceremony, from the groom’s family arriving, through the order of the tray handover, to the return gifts and family photos.

Venues

Private villas, restaurants and resorts. The MYS team arranges set-up times and decor rules with the venue.

Vendors

The family’s own MC, photographer and make-up artist are welcome. If the family has none yet, MYS can recommend people it has worked with. Recommendations are given only when asked.